The "Lonely Prince" Character

As an active thespian, it can often be difficult for me to find myself in the characters I want to portray. As a daughter in Pirates of Penzance, I have to somehow exaggerate a facet of my being into a victorian "fancy lady".

But, what do I exagerrate? Should I be bossy? Scared? Sweet? A snob? I fear I have been all of these things in the past, sometimes simulainiously. There's too much to a person to just shove into one characteristic. I can't do it.

I'm muddling with this all through rehearsal today. It is a Monday after school, the 10th hour there to be exact, and I am exhausted. As a hard-core Christian cast member, it is difficult for me to find a solid group of friend in my immediate cast who don't take me as concieted or judgemental. I suppose I should expect it as a Christian, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

I gather with the rest of the daughters into a clump to run a dance. I'm on the outskirts of the clump, trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do with my character, when the music stops for a moment and the leaders converse. I look at the wall-to-ceiling mirror in the dance studio and I see myself standing just a few feet away from the clump, looking a little silly as everyone else remains tightly packed. Without realizing it, I had created a character for myself: the lonely prince (or princess in this case).

This did not help my mental state. I ended up becoming even more depressed about myself. I left rehearsal today feeling somewhat alone and annoyed that I've let myself get this upset about it. Aren't I supposed to be set apart? Isn't being different than the rest of the world a good thing? I didn't get it.

But then I suddenly picture Jesus, trying to make his way through life with nothing but a group of disciples who only understood him 40% of the time. He was always alone, and he sought solitude to seek the Father. Did He ever complain?

 Seeing myself outside of the "pack of daughters" suddenly became something I could be proud of. My goal was reached. I was "set apart", or Holy. Now, I just need to see what God has planned in this little lonely corner.

~Bobissaur

Saving "Lassie"

A few nights ago, my beloved cat Dexter got really sick. He's a very large cat, skiddish, and on a good day, very mellow. This night, however, was different. My mom and I rushed him to the emergency vet, slightly freightened. Next to us in the waiting room was a family in utter distress. If their faces didn't give it away, their habits did. The mom and her two children just sat and waited; no phones, no Ipods, no magazines... they just sat and stared. I could intstantly tell that they would do anything for their animal, whatever it may be.

It got me to thinking... why do people care about animals so much? My mind drifted to a movie night with friends. We had gone to see Invasion, a high-suspense horror film where people are dying left and right. It wasn't until much later into the movie when the camera caught sight of a dead dog that my friends and I gasped in horror. "Aww, the poor puppie..." and never "Oh, the poor man... and woman... and child..."

I always thought it was the most ridiculous concept... the idea that we sometimes seem to value animal life over human life. But seeing that family that night gave me a different perspective. Pets love unconditionally... their wants and needs are few, but they're loyal to the last. Now let's think about what man has done to us. They betray, they hate, and they destroy eachother and the world they live in. Poor Lassie doesn't even understand the concept of hate.

It reminded me of God's love, that unconditional constant that remains no matter what we do to ourselves or eachother. Has the human race destryed itself? Yes. Is the only thing truly loves you in this world your dog Lassie? No. Can you imagine what would happen if we loved God with the same adoration we offer our pets? I know I'll never look at my cat Dexter the same way again...

~Bobissaur

P.S. Dexter is doing just fine :)

Bobissaur: The Wandering Writer

Why, hello there.

I'm sure you're wondering why I've decided to start a blog. Well, simplistically, I love to write. I'm an author who loves the art of language. But at a deeper level, I suppose I want to remember the lessons that God teaches me; the little things that I easily forget that can have a large impact on my life.

I'm all about the little things; the subtleties in life that most people would look over. In a prayer of thanks, I often forget to mention food, cloathing, a roof over my head, and other essentials. Instead, I thank God for making sure I haven't lost my pencil, or for my jeans not ripping during a difficult dance rehersal. In the end, these small events can easily change someone's mood, and in the long run, their attitude on life.

This blog is about the little things; the "subtle phenomenon" that continue on a day-to-day basis right under our noses. It's funny how we often as God for a sign or a need, not realizing that there's one right in front of us. Sometimes, all we have to do is look.

My first real post is coming up soon. Tata for now!

~Bobissaur