Baking Cookies

I've had an intense weekend... two all-day college visits = mental overload and exhaustion. So when one of my best friends called me wanting to go to a movie today, I really REALLY didn't want to deal with anyone.

My self-imposed solitude was relaxing, but boredom was not far behind. I decided to do something that I don't normally do... I baked cookies. From scratch. Now, I usually don't have the patience to deal with baking. It is often long, arduous, and messy. But for some reason, the smell of baking cookies puts a smile on my face. It makes me think of family and the simpler things, like the smell of popcorn in a movie theater or apple cider at a family pumpkin patch. There is just something about that smell.



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 While baking them, I began to realize just how many cookies there were... and I didn't really want to eat them all... I'd much rather make them than eat them. As I watched the dough rise at the heat of the oven, I realized just how foolish I had been. In my solitude, I baked enough cookies to feed a large family.

I knew then that I wasn't meant to be alone at that moment. I called  up some of my best friends, including the one I had turned down earlier, and I invited them to eat cookies and just hang out. It was hard at first to get people here on a Saturday night at such short notice... but it was worth it.

God may ask us to act alone in tests of faith, but generally, He doesn't want us to be alone. We should have fellowship with others who will guide us, hold us up, and sometimes just make us laugh and have fun. And so, when you're down and tired or frustrated, think twice before settling into a self-pity party. Seek fellowship, first and foremost with God, then with others. God gives us people in our lives for a reason, and sometimes, we have to utilize them.

"Can you play?"

"Can you play?" It's been a long time since I've said that... or has it been? 6th? 7th grade? I forget. But I do remember that playing is exactly what we did every time. Board games, video games, park games, basket ball, hide-and-seek, tag... the list goes on. In other words, I lived a very average childhood. But looking back on that list, I wonder... what the heck happened?

When did the words "hang out" replace "play"? And what does that even mean? That we just chill out and talk? Originally, the concept seemed boring to me, but now I do it as if it's nothing. Why, yes, I would like to just sit and talk with you, you friend-like human being.

Please, don't get me wrong, I like talking with people, but I find myself desiring a more... constructive hang-out. A play-date, if you will. I mean, why don't we play anymore? Are we just lazy? Are those games just not fun anymore? Do we have to be a sports star to play a simple game?

Truth is, those games came from a much simpler time in our lives, when we didn't have to think about any sort of responsibility. We played just for the joy of it, because that's all there was to life.

We need a bit more joy in our lives. We need a few more play-dates. And joy doesn't come from watching "How I Met Your Mother" while eating a half pound candy bar. Joy comes in truely experiencing something that is both rewarding and self-less. We have to be in the moment; we have to smell the air and feel the bruises. We have to come home sweaty and covered in grass stains. We have to rekindle that family poker rivalry... because we WANT to. We have to just get out and play; to be a kid again...

Again, don't get me wrong. We shouldn't live life like this. We have responsibilities that are rather important. But if we don't just play every now and then, I fear we'll forget why we have those responsibilities in the first place: so we can experience joy to the fullest.

Remember how I started blogging?

This post has been very long overdue... I apologize to those who had been reading. As most of my little hobbies do, this one fell through the cracks rather quickly. But I now find myself at a place where I need to write, or I may just go postal.

A lot of "big things" come with being a senior in high school: college, money, majors, graduation, leadership, busy days and long nights... I can't wrap my mind around it all. I can't comprehend that I'll be 18 in just a few short months. I can't even imagine what my life will be like in a year. And that is terrifying.

All of this worry is getting to me, and I think I need to refocus on the day: on the little things. That is, after all, why I started a blog. Let God worry my future; let's just see what he can do with tomorrow first.

I hope to post more soon. Until then, mon amis.

~Bobissaur

The "Lonely Prince" Character

As an active thespian, it can often be difficult for me to find myself in the characters I want to portray. As a daughter in Pirates of Penzance, I have to somehow exaggerate a facet of my being into a victorian "fancy lady".

But, what do I exagerrate? Should I be bossy? Scared? Sweet? A snob? I fear I have been all of these things in the past, sometimes simulainiously. There's too much to a person to just shove into one characteristic. I can't do it.

I'm muddling with this all through rehearsal today. It is a Monday after school, the 10th hour there to be exact, and I am exhausted. As a hard-core Christian cast member, it is difficult for me to find a solid group of friend in my immediate cast who don't take me as concieted or judgemental. I suppose I should expect it as a Christian, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

I gather with the rest of the daughters into a clump to run a dance. I'm on the outskirts of the clump, trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do with my character, when the music stops for a moment and the leaders converse. I look at the wall-to-ceiling mirror in the dance studio and I see myself standing just a few feet away from the clump, looking a little silly as everyone else remains tightly packed. Without realizing it, I had created a character for myself: the lonely prince (or princess in this case).

This did not help my mental state. I ended up becoming even more depressed about myself. I left rehearsal today feeling somewhat alone and annoyed that I've let myself get this upset about it. Aren't I supposed to be set apart? Isn't being different than the rest of the world a good thing? I didn't get it.

But then I suddenly picture Jesus, trying to make his way through life with nothing but a group of disciples who only understood him 40% of the time. He was always alone, and he sought solitude to seek the Father. Did He ever complain?

 Seeing myself outside of the "pack of daughters" suddenly became something I could be proud of. My goal was reached. I was "set apart", or Holy. Now, I just need to see what God has planned in this little lonely corner.

~Bobissaur

Saving "Lassie"

A few nights ago, my beloved cat Dexter got really sick. He's a very large cat, skiddish, and on a good day, very mellow. This night, however, was different. My mom and I rushed him to the emergency vet, slightly freightened. Next to us in the waiting room was a family in utter distress. If their faces didn't give it away, their habits did. The mom and her two children just sat and waited; no phones, no Ipods, no magazines... they just sat and stared. I could intstantly tell that they would do anything for their animal, whatever it may be.

It got me to thinking... why do people care about animals so much? My mind drifted to a movie night with friends. We had gone to see Invasion, a high-suspense horror film where people are dying left and right. It wasn't until much later into the movie when the camera caught sight of a dead dog that my friends and I gasped in horror. "Aww, the poor puppie..." and never "Oh, the poor man... and woman... and child..."

I always thought it was the most ridiculous concept... the idea that we sometimes seem to value animal life over human life. But seeing that family that night gave me a different perspective. Pets love unconditionally... their wants and needs are few, but they're loyal to the last. Now let's think about what man has done to us. They betray, they hate, and they destroy eachother and the world they live in. Poor Lassie doesn't even understand the concept of hate.

It reminded me of God's love, that unconditional constant that remains no matter what we do to ourselves or eachother. Has the human race destryed itself? Yes. Is the only thing truly loves you in this world your dog Lassie? No. Can you imagine what would happen if we loved God with the same adoration we offer our pets? I know I'll never look at my cat Dexter the same way again...

~Bobissaur

P.S. Dexter is doing just fine :)

Bobissaur: The Wandering Writer

Why, hello there.

I'm sure you're wondering why I've decided to start a blog. Well, simplistically, I love to write. I'm an author who loves the art of language. But at a deeper level, I suppose I want to remember the lessons that God teaches me; the little things that I easily forget that can have a large impact on my life.

I'm all about the little things; the subtleties in life that most people would look over. In a prayer of thanks, I often forget to mention food, cloathing, a roof over my head, and other essentials. Instead, I thank God for making sure I haven't lost my pencil, or for my jeans not ripping during a difficult dance rehersal. In the end, these small events can easily change someone's mood, and in the long run, their attitude on life.

This blog is about the little things; the "subtle phenomenon" that continue on a day-to-day basis right under our noses. It's funny how we often as God for a sign or a need, not realizing that there's one right in front of us. Sometimes, all we have to do is look.

My first real post is coming up soon. Tata for now!

~Bobissaur